The Green Vegetables' Theory
by Optymistka
Summary: Legolas has been a sweet and obedient child, going as far as eating his veggies without a fuss. That is, until Elrohir and Elladan told him about their awful influence on an elf's life. Thranduil for the first time in a very long time, doesn't know if he should feel flattered or insulted.


**Warning: Another silly story featuring small Legolas and twins. Its only reason for existence is to make people smile.**

* * *

"That tall ellon with a high forehead and black hair?"

Legolas thought for a moment before nodding. He has seen lord Elrond only a few times, but his friend's description seemed to fit the ellon just fine if he remembered well. Turning to Meriwen, he bowed theatrically.

"How do I look?"

As always when to Greenwood came an important guest, the prince had to wear the heavy, ceremonial robes and boots with heels that even though looked innocently small, made climbing trees incredibly difficult.

"Like a doll," answered Meriwen, snickering on his bed. His blue eyes narrowed at her as he pouted.

"Can't you just this once behave like a comforting friend?" She seemed to grow guilty at his accusing tone and jumped down from his bed.

"Oh, Legolas, you know I will always support you..."

He understood the reason of her sudden change a moment too late. With a surprising speed she enveloped him in a hug.

"Hey!" Meriwen, being ten years older than him and a good head taller, easily spun him around as he struggled in her gentle, but firm hold.

"Such a pretty, little doll! I could hug you for years!"

"Lemme go, Meriwen!" He tousled her brown hair, but it didn't seem to faze her at all as she laughed.

Fortunately for Legolas, his nanny appeared just in time to save him from the clutches of the hug-thirsty girl.

"Meriwen, put the prince down." Meriwen did that immediately, but nonetheless Castanielle shot the two children a disapproving look. Still, the lady's eyes had a mischievous glint to them. "His robes mustn't have any crease."

"Oh, and here was I thinking it's me you're worried about, nanny," Legolas scoffed. "I'll tell dad!" Castanielle raised her elegant brow before coming over to Legolas and smoothing the non-existent creases with a smile.

"Running to daddy every time you have a problem is not a solution, my prince," she chided good-naturedly even though it was clear that Legolas didn't mean his threat seriously. "Besides, your dad is in no position to stand up to me right now. I'm sure that neither you nor him would want your mommy to accidentally hear about those honey cookies he gave you yesterday when she wasn't looking."

"You had honey cookies and didn't share with me?" asked Meriwen, disappointed. Legolas' eyes widened in realisation.

"I knew I had forgotten about something!" He jumped to his closet and opened the second drawer, but instead of the two big honey cookies he had left there packed in a red cloth, he found a fat mouse. The remnants of the sweet treat in the animal's brown fur clearly stated that the cookies indeed had some help with disappearing. "Aw, Denis! That wasn't for you!"

"You found Denis?" The thought of cookies immediately left Meriwen's mind as she looked above Legolas' shoulder. Castanielle followed the girl's example only to jerk away violently as Meriwen took the animal in her hands.

"A mouse," the disgust was clear in the lady's voice.

"Dad knows," rushed to assure Legolas.

"Well, your mom certainly doesn't."

"Please don't tell the queen about Denis," pleaded Meriwen. "My parents are this close-" Her fingers almost touched to emphasize her point. "-to let me have him as my pet, he can't land on the street now!"

Castanielle sighed deeply. This was not the time for such a hard conversation and she had wanted first to hear what the king had to his defence anyway. To allow a dirty, disgusting mouse into a child's room... Oh, she hoped Thranduil had a good explanation.

"Get it out of my sight, Meriwen. I will not say anything for now," the lady promised, earning herself a hug from the prince. "Come on, Legolas, you have to wash your hands before the dinner. Guests are already gathering in the dining hall."

* * *

"Legolas." His father's gentle tone shook him out of his trance and he realized he was staring at lord Elrond. The Noldo didn't seem to mind, even giving him a friendly smile, but one look at his mother was enough for him to know he should apologize.

"Sorry," he said, fixating his gaze on his plate.

"Oh, there is nothing to be sorry for, I'm glad to be interesting," chuckled lord Elrond. "It's a pity Arwen is too little to travel, you would have someone to play with."

Thranduil steered the conversation back on political business before his wife could offer for their family to travel to Rivendell. The Elvenking didn't like travelling and Legolas suspected the frivolous robes that the king would be forced to wear through the whole visit and the lack of Dorwinion and honey cookies had something to do with it. Even though he didn't really want to catch anyone's attention again, the young prince couldn't help, but steal glances every so often at lord Elrond's forehead.

* * *

The awkward silence was becoming unbearable as Legolas and lord Elrond's sons sat on a bench. The adult ellyn went to discuss politics to the conference room and the ellith and elflings were invited by the queen to relax a bit in the Palace gardens. The place was offering a loads of fun such as splashing in the giant fountains and climbing the apple trees to pick the reddest fruits. Unfortunately, Legolas' mom listed all of the fun activities as forbidden for the time of lord Elrond's visit and so the youngsters were all forced to spend time politely talking. The prince didn't know what to do. The twins were over a fifty years older than him, they could be considered almost adults and Legolas couldn't think of any interesting subject to talk about. Discussing the archery for another hour was out of the question. Still, that silence, that silence... Unbearable!

"Your dad has a large forehead," he blurted out desperately. The twins jumped slightly at his sudden exclamation.

"Uh.. Well he's wise, he has to have a high forehead," explained Elrohir, his expression torn between amused, insulted and incredulous. Legolas frowned.

"But my dad is wise too and still your father's forehead is bigger." Elladan recovered from the initial surprise and now with a mischievous spark in his eyes, slung his arm over Legolas'.

"Well, no offence, Legolas, but you do know that you, Greenwood elves, are considered to be slightly less wise than those living in Rivendell and Lothlórien, right? A high forehead is a sign of the utter superiority concerning the intelligence and can be achieved only by every day's mind exercises and a proper diet," Elladan explained. Elrohir sent him a warning glance. If the word got back to Thranduil...

"But you don't have high foreheads," noticed Legolas.

"Well, we never said we were wiser than your father." That seemed to placate the young prince for a moment.

"Oh. And what does a 'proper diet' mean? What kind of exercises you have to do?" he asked, curious.

"Well... Lots of vegetables... You know, green food in general," Elladan answered, barely containing his mirth. "It's the easiest way, those who enjoy a challenge do extra maths and history."

"Ew, boring," whined Legolas and the twins agreed immediately. And as bizarre was the beginning, soon the conversation turned enjoyable for every party. It seemed that elflings all around Arda had similar ideas as to how improve the schooling system.

* * *

Lord Elrond observed Legolas curiously. While on their previous encounters the young prince seemed to take a particular interest in Noldo's face, now the blue eyes were fixated on his own plate. He pushed his food all around the plate, but seemed decidedly reluctant to finally put it in his mouth. His nanny must have also noticed that.

"Legolas, eat your vegetables. They will make you wise like lord Elrond himself," she tried to coax, glancing at her age long friend, Elrond.

Legolas seemed to be horrified at the idea. He had thought the twins were just joking...

"With all due respect, my lord Elrond," he started gravely, earning himself a few raised brows. "-but I'd rather be pretty like my dad than wise like you."

As the conversations at the table stopped, Thranduil's choking echoed in the room.

"And Elrohir and Elladan said eating greenies is the fastest way to get high forehead - which I don't think is pretty."

The twins groaned miserably. They were going to be in so much trouble.

* * *

 **AN: I'm not a native speaker and it's not betaed, so I'll be very thankful for pointing out my mistakes. Did you enjoy it? Please review :)**


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